I’m sure it has been noted that the main priority here is the us. All four of us, not one over the other, but us as a whole. What is best for the us always comes first. That might look different from day to day depending on the circumstance and priority. They are both ever changing. Some days it might be one of the kids, one of us four or very well one of the many pets.
Besides the focus on us, another way we do things different is in that the final decisions within our relationship always comes from our Knight. His strong, consistent and caring leadership is something we can rely on just as he relies on knowing he will receive from us the information needed to make those decisions. Transparency is something we take seriously. It is part of communicating effectively. We talk and we listen. We share ideas, emotions and how they make us feel. In that sharing is a wealth of information for all involved. Without sharing, without the expectation of transparency, his decision making would not work. It would be like attempting to solve a puzzle without all the pieces.
He’s methodical in his thought processes, in the getting to know you. What makes you, you is important to him. He will know what brings joy, what brings fear, your core values. He will know it all and with that information, he will support your growth which in turn makes for a better us. This isn’t a one sided thing either. He shares of himself possibly even more easily than we do. His leadership does not come from a place of ego. While many dominants in power dynamic relationships strive for that codependency, our Knight is exactly the opposite.
Our strength and independence are important. The internal satisfaction and joy we three get from being his, from serving him, comes from that place of strength, which brings him joy, completing the circle. It is one of the many ways we show our love.
Tonight we had a good conversation on the expectation behind being asked versus being told to do something. Both scenarios pretty much have the same expectation… the thing will be done. It might be a small, seemingly unimportant, thing and little to no thought will be given in the asking or while carrying out the task or it might be something big and much thought will be given to it from both sides. The difference very well could be personal perception depending on what the thing is. This is where the transparency and effective communication come in to play. If he doesn’t have all the information, he can’t make a decision that is best for us.
Is this always easy? Not even close, but it is important for the us. We are the flip side to his coin. Where he leads, we follow. We find great joy in serving our Knight, in living up to his expectations, in the pleasure we all receive from the ins and outs of daily life most perceive as boring. To us this is where we thrive, in the beauty of our ordinary.