I didn’t get anything posted last week due to spending time with my daughters and grandkids on my days off, but no fear about this week because our Knight has written something beautiful for me to share with you all. It is such an amazing feeling to be able to read such heartfelt words and now to share them so all who read can see Alandra through his eyes. Special indeed!
Who is Alandra? Who is this women who I love so much? This writing is going to be my effort that I hope can shed some light on this incredible women and why I love her. No easy task when you consider the three decades we have been together and all the growth in that time. But yet there are some constants of her that are my rock. Its those things that drew me into the depth of love that I will never get out of.
I have flashes of memories of her through the years as I considered this writing. How could I begin to explain to anyone how deeply I love her and why. I can tell you when I realized I was in love with her and it wasn’t when I first saw her in the pool hall bending over to take a shot. I knew that for the lust it was and I still feel that lust anytime I think of her. It was a few months later after we’d been dating for awhile that I felt the draw of love for her. I was at work doing my inspection at the start of day and full of mixed emotions. I was no longer a virgin after the night before and I didn’t feel so good about the experience. Did I have sex with her out of lust or love? The answer to that question mattered to me.
I was feeling guilty that I might have taken advantage of her and my lust would be my nemesis. She didn’t protest or anything like that. But we didn’t discuss it either. I initiated and she responded. As I walked around at work I realized my thoughts and concerns were about her. I felt guilty because I cared about her. I realized I didn’t want to have a day in my life without her being a part of it. I had fallen in love. But why?
It really is an evolving answer to say why I love Alandra. Not just because we all grow and change but love itself is infinite. You cannot begin to find the bottom of love when you are in it. The depths of love just get deeper with the passage of time. I remember listening to a motivational speaker a couple years before Alandra came into my life. He talked about how when he first fell in love with his wife he thought he knew what love was. But five years later understood he knew little and then ten years and then twenty and so on. I didn’t get it then but I get it now. He didn’t try to explain it. Only that you you bring the love of yesterday with you as you start today and so on.
I could write a book on all the things she does that makes me feel loved and wanted in her life as I could share the few things I do as well out of love for her. But those things don’t really tell you why I love her it only shows how I love her. Simply. I love her for who she is and this is how I see her.
Alandra is an incredibly emotionally strong women and she has just become stronger with the passage of time. She doesn’t let her emotions decide for her, she decides her emotions. When her emotions bubble out of her control she is not pleased and reins them in quickly. She is calm waters with a very deep current. Happy are you if the current of love catches you but not so much if it’s her indifference. She doesn’t hate but she doesn’t love everyone either.
Practicality should be her middle name. She doesn’t seek to embellish herself or be extravagant. There is a simple humility of her that makes her all the more special. She seeks no spotlight but always seem to be there to help those around her. Her thoughtfulness is spontaneous in the moment as she perceives how she can help or show kindness to someone in need. With those she loves there is mindfulness of what makes their life easier and she navigates herself to help them. I have been blessed with many things that made my life easier.
She works hard at everything because deep down she knows not everything will be easy. She pushes herself hard and the only real moment of relaxation is an escape to a book. Some people try to control everything but she just tries to do everything. I felt a sense of victory when I have been able to get her to ask for help instead of working herself to the bone. She doesn’t need fancy or new. She wants what works and gets the job done. Even when those comfortable running shoes are more like sandals than shoe. She doesn’t make do with things. She just doesn’t indulge to please her ego when something works and gets the job done. Which is a good thing because sometimes I feel like like a worn out pair of shoes.
I am incredibly blessed to know this incredible woman. I am in love with her and few know her for the incredible person she is. She is not shy but she will not impose on others in anyway. To know her is to get your hands dirty building fences or doing the dishes. She will not talk about herself on her own initiative but will answer openly and honestly anything a person dare ask her. One thing I should warn you about is the incredible protective nature within. She is a wounded bear, mountain lion and wolf all rolled into one when someone she loves is threatened. Harm someone she loves and you will never earn her forgiveness and she will never forget it. She will not seek revenge but in the moment it is not a safe place to be.
I love everything about Alandra. This person makes me want to be a better person everyday. She deserves so much more than she ever seeks to take from life. I am in awe when I look back at the countless memories we have shared. I can’t image my life without her or the life I would have lived if I had not seen her bent over the pool table that day.