Alandra–What it Means to be a Mist Girl

To me being a “mist girl ” is living my life, I have been a mist girl for the past 30 years.  What it meant in the early years has changed in the later years, not only due to age but also what is happening in our life.

In the early years being a mist girl meant  taking care of and being of service to our Knight, there were no interactions with others in the lifestyle it was solely us and finding our way.  Some people might have said it was like being a 50’s wife.

Once we started interacting with the lifestyle being a “mist girl” seemed to bring more pressure I felt. Even though I did not feel like what we were doing, how we were behaving and being was special, to others it seem to be. Service with grace, having protocols and rituals, even our level of play seemed to bring awe to some. Even now, going to events there are people watching and judging,  trying to model behavior and play after us. In some ways being a “mist girl” means people have put us on a pedestal and hold us up as what is the end result. The seamless flow and connectivity that others see, but don’t see the quiet hand signals and pre-event talks and planning to make it look so seamless.

Being a “mist girl”  I perceive it to be a about family, loyalty, character, self control, the behaviors of sharing, grace, quiet work, and not looking for validation or praise from without. I don’t do things to get the pat on the head, the good girl praise or the award for being the good Slave, I do it because it is what makes me happy and fulfilled. I don’t do it to to show up others or make myself feel better or more accomplished, I do it  because it is who I am and it makes me happy.


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