A Gift

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a Mystery
Today is a gift,
that’s why they call it the present

Today I dropped three of my four daughters and my grandson off at the airport to head back home. They’ve been here for a week which really lifted my spirits since I have been stuck mostly at home since my surgery. We laughed and we cried. We shared memories and made new ones. We looked at old pictures and talked about those who have gone, but most importantly we loved.

The house looks like a tornado hit it. Just about every dish and bath towel are dirty and I feel fortunate for both. While they were all here we celebrated #2’s 26th birthday, a late Christmas and #1’s early 29th birthday. We mostly sat around in our jammies eating, playing games and watching movies with a few shopping trips thrown in for good measure. Having them here so close with me has had me remembering so many memories from years past.



2017 was a really good, even if somewhat stressful, year. It started with my meeting our Knight, Alandra and Kyra early on. My personal intention for the year was mindfulness. I learned a lot every day just by being actively moreso. I started planning a cross country move, watched my youngest daughter graduate high school, said goodbye to family, friends and everything I had known in my life to that point and then packed everything up in a moving truck and headed out on a four day trip that brought me to my new home.

Since coming to Tennessee I have seen lots of new things and met some great people. I was asked how this could feel so much like home to me so quickly and was able to answer easily. Like happiness, home for me has way more to do with how I feel inside than what town or house I live in. I haven’t always recognized that and am glad I do these days.



Although I have some long term goals, there is no way to know what the future holds. So when I think of the future I mostly think about seeing and reconnecting with those I love more than anything else. A few of the other things I’m thinking of are simple things that bring me joy. I’m looking forward to narrowing down my intention for the year. It’s something I do annually on my birthday and so I still have a couple of months to decide. I would like to make a better effort at keeping in contact with my loved ones and sharing smiles where they are needed. I have made friends at work but may start venturing out to find like minded kinky folks in my area. Time for camping, hiking and numerous motorcycle rides are also always welcomed. I am feeling the need to write again so that is very exciting. I would also love to get back into teaching yoga and so have been giving that some thought. All the while I am reminded that the future is a bright, beautiful place but it is not where I live.



I will work a bit harder this year to live in the now. To accept the gift of this moment and all it brings with it. Every day has so much to offer I can’t help but be excited by it. Just about the time I think I’ve got this living life to the fullest thing down, I remember there is no end to the journey and that it’s completely okay to slow down and take time to feel my breath, to hear the wind whistling through the trees and to just be. My year of mindfulness has taught me a lot about living in the moment. It has also made me realize too much of life just passes me by, how many things I do out of habit, how often I am not even aware of something or view it then forget it. The feeling we get when we have a new experience, when we see something beautiful for the first time or taste something sweet and delightful. That amazement is what I have found again. I have found it in the landscape, in a dog’s funny antics, in a baby’s laugh. I am finding it in places I never thought to look because I was busy being busy or allowing old tapes from my past to pull me into dark places. Some days it is because I’m worrying about the future. Always though it is something I cannot in any way, shape or form, change and so instead I’m working toward being constantly amazed by the moment I’m currently living. I hope you are too!




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