This is a horrible thing of course. You know, like being independent and strong willed. These things are super frowned upon if you are a slave. Well, unless you are owned by an intelligent, authentic, strong, sexy, confident man such as our Knight. In that case all of the above are sort of expected.
Ego is our sense of self-esteem and self-importance. As with anything else, there is a balance to find there. Without the balance things will be severely skewed and that is where the problems lie.
Without a healthy sense of ego, we would not be able to follow our Knight’s first rule for us… To protect his property. Without a healthy sense of ego we would not recognize the importance of what this looks like beyond the singular rule. There would be no internalization of it and it definitely then could not include the addendum to the rule of protecting his property, even from himself if need be. Without a sense of self-esteem and self-importance that is ego how would we know when this needed to be done much less the smaller, day to day things?
On the other hand, if we made it all about ourselves then the relationship would be destined to die a slow and grueling death each and every time something happened that was not about the individual.
So then I think the important part is finding the balance. A lot of that comes in choosing compatible partner(s). The main way we find that balance is by making the us our priority. There is not a single one of us always the most important. Not even himself. Priorities change pretty often and sometimes none of us are top priority. Sometimes it is a sick child or even a sick pet.
I have heard that if ego is in place it is impossible to let go completely, to surrender completely. I could probably agree with this to some extent. The thing is, I am not expected to surrender completely. I am however, expected to obey with grace and be transparent about my feelings and overall mental and physical health. I can do that even if I don’t much care for doing or not doing some of the things required of me.
Being compatible the way we are and having consistent, clear expectations from him as well as finding internal joy in our service aligns us to his will and is another way in which we are able to balance our ego in slavehood.
Without healthy ego, without allowing thoughts of “me” in my relationship, any ole Master would do. I would have no preferences or thoughts for my future, my safety or any of that. Without such, I definitely would not be capable of making good decisions.
Part of my healthy ego, as a slave within our relationship, comes from the ability to be my authentic self just as they are. We are not pretending to be something we are not, we don’t have that struggle. And most importantly, we are one and we work together, egos and all, to move toward our goals.
Misty Acres 